ANGRY MAN YELLING: WHEN TO LISTEN

An angry man is something you come across if you live long enough.

Age fifteen was my breakout. I’d heard anger before, but not like the one at fifteen.

Since then I’ve heard many men show their anger.

What to do when they get in your face?

I was a kid looking for a job in a small town. And I wasn’t alone.

My dad helped with the search. He was an insurance adjuster and knew everyone.

My mom worked for the DMV. Everyone knew her, but it was my dad who pointed me the right direction.

I should have known better.

He knew a business owner who needed help putting boat trailers together.

We drove to the job interview together. I got hired, but needed a work permit.

Since both parents worked I also needed transportation. I did have my learner’s license, which we all decided was good enough to ride a motorcycle.

My ride was a CD Honda 100, not the trail bike which would have been cool, but the street bike.

It was small for a growing boy.

The Angry Man Response

I started work at $.75 an hour.

After a week of training I was left alone in a warehouse putting big trailers together and wiring them to haul big boats.

A few months later the boss fired one of his guys.

About a week later I figured it was time to ask for a raise. The guy he fired made $1.25 an hour.

My plan was to ask for the same, then settle for $1.00 an hour.

That was my big move when I went into his office.

Me: I’d like a raise.

Boss: You should be working. We can talk about this next week.

Me: I’m doing more now with Bob gone. I’d like a raise.

Boss: And you’re doing a good job. No complaints. Let’s wait until you’re here three months.

Me: I’ve been here working almost four months.

Boss: That so? I’ll check and get back to you. In the meantime, let’s get those trailers built.

Me: Yes, sir. But I’d like a raise to $1.25.

Boss: What? That’s what Bob made after two years.

Me: Yes, sir. Now I’m doing his job and mine.

Boss: Well, this is quite a request.

Me: Yes, sir.

Boss: I can’t pay you $1.25.

Me: And I can’t work for $.75.

Boss: Then we’ve got a problem. Why don’t you finish the month, then.

Me: No, sir. I can’t finish the month at $.75 an hour.

Boss: I don’t know who you’re getting your ideas from, but finish out the week.

Me: I can’t finish out the week at $.75 an hour.

This is when an angry man let it out

Boss: I can’t believe this. I do your dad a favor and hire you and now you’re holding me up. Then finish the day and you can leave.

Me: No, sir. I can’t finish the day at $.75 an hour.

Boss: I trained you and started you and now this. Who do you think you are? Have you talked to your father about this? I can imagine what he might say. This is bullshit.

Me: Yes, sir. If you cut me a check right now, I’ll leave.

Boss: I’ve got people who need these trailers and you’re not finishing the month, the week, or the day. You’re putting me in a spot, do you know that?

Me: All I’m asking for is a fair wage, sir. If we can’t agree, write me a check.

Boss: That’s how this plays out? You’re quitting? You’re walking out? Is this how you think we do business? I give you a chance and this is how you respond?

Me: Yes, sir. I’d like a raise, or a final check.

Boss: Is this some kind of joke. You think you’re funny? Pardon me if I don’t laugh. I’ll have Loretta write you a check and I won’t hire you back when find how hard it is out there. You’ll be back and it’ll be too bad. That $.75 an hour will look pretty good then, let me tell you.

Me: Yes, sir.

Boss: Now get out.

Cooling Off The Heated Anger

I left the boss’s office a little shaken. Did I do the right thing?

I stopped at the office manager’s desk and she handed me a check.

“I heard the whole thing.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. He’s been taking advantage of cheap labor for years. You’re the first to tell him.”

“That’s why he’s so mad?”

“He’s like this all the time. You did the right thing. I have a neighbor who works for the school district. Here’s his number. Give him a call tomorrow. I’ll talk to him later today.”

“Thank you.”

“You did good work here. I’ll tell him that. They need help with field irrigation and stripping floors and painting classrooms. If you can build these trailers you can handle all of that.”

“You won’t be disappointed.”

“You made my day.”

2

When an angry man yells at you their aim is to intimidate, to cow you down.

They want to frighten you into doing what they say, to suspend your sense of right and wrong.

Too often, the yelling and anger work.

If you’ve never seen it, or heard it in person, you’ve seen it on television.

The odd thing is seeing people who pass as normal dip into the anger pool.

Their faces scrunch up like they might cry, then burst out with angry words.

It’s no accident when they practice in front of mirrors, in front of media advisors, and in front of people they’re trying to fire up.

Their anger is contagious, and you never know what might happen when it spreads.

Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words can never hurt?

When those angry man words land inside the brains of people deprived of oxygen, they might pick up sticks and stones.

They might storm the Capitol.

The Inciter In Chief may find himself accountable for Jan. 6.

Another bad boss may be brought down for his actions.