COUPLES LEADERSHIP WITHOUT THE THERAPY PART

Couples Leadership sounds like a therapy program for two.

If you need therapy, make an appointment. This is a blog.

But this is a blog interested in how things work out.

Have you ever wondered how couples work it out? I’ll answer for you, “yes you have.”

But how?

Two words: Couples Leadership.

As a married man in a committed relationship, I’ve said these words to guys about to get married:

“Marriage doesn’t break 50/50. It’s 51/49 on the best days and you’re not always the 51. If that’s a problem, you’ll have problems.

“Leadership isn’t about being the loudest, the most up-front, or having the special truthier truth.”

To make a long story short, leadership, especially couples leadership, comes from making consistent decisions that benefit the other person. And you.

It’s the small things and you never know if they see them, and that’s the best part.

If you date strong willed women, this is no surprise. They have a wall few even approach. It’s decorated with obstacles that seem to ask, “Who needs you?”

Definitely not them, but you could be wrong, they could be wrong. Usually no one is that wrong, but you never know. So you find out.

Sometimes you find a life together.

Following The Leader

If you fly the friendly skies as a couple now and then, you understand how one of you is the chief navigator at baggage check-in and ticketing.

Find the right aisle, tag the bags and pay before getting to the counter or back you go, print boarding passes, notice that one is pre-TSA and one isn’t, but stay together in the slow take-your-shoes off line.

Staying together is key here.

Take my computer out? Empty pockets? Are they? Yes. Oh, my wallet. And change. Empty now. Step over where? Okay. Hands like this?

Don’t ask questions, just follow directions. You don’t need more problems.

Remember, people make mistakes. One is getting to the airport a day early. Another is getting to the airport twelve house early. Either one is a problem.

Solve the first by coming back the next day, the second by squeezing in at the last minute. That straight back seat against the bathroom wall? It’s empty for a reason. I’ve had it more than once.

In fact I’ve exchanged a better seat with my wife for the wall seat, assigned or not, like a knight in shining armor.

Couples leadership means working it out and being strong for each other. It was the middle seat.

Sharing The Bounty

When things do work out, it’s a celebration. Not 4th of July or New Year’s but more of a quiet cheer for the home team.

Every twist and turn of life has so many other outcomes than the way things turned out. I’d like that on my urn. When you get old enough to look back, it is a long and winding road.

People just married, or getting married, see the long married from a distance. A long, boring, distance.

Baby boomers have long since transitioned from starting new lives together, but sharing the thrill is not gone. It’s exciting to be around couples making plans and showcasing couples leadership. Seeing which direction they take.

I heard about a young married couple with a baby visiting great-grandma. She lived in a planned community of retired nuns.

They all loved that baby like nobody’s business. A special baby in a special place.

Later some in the group asked great-grandma how she had ‘lucked into that family.’

It’s a beautiful question we all ought to be able to ask at least once.

Couples leadership class is over, now find an answer.

Hint: It’s not ‘The Dog.