HORSE DOCTORS CARE FOR ANIMALS LIKE THIS, NOT YOU

Horse doctors? You know one if you’re got a horse.

“But doctor, my little pony seems a little slow. It might be sick. It needs ivermectin.”

“I’ll need to do a work-up first.”

“She used to be so active, so welcoming and fun. Now she just sits there. It could be worms?”

“Has anything changed?”

“No, just that my son used to ride it before he could walk and it was very responsive.”

“I think I see the problem,” the horse doctor said. “This is a toy horse.”

“Do I look like a fool, doctor? I know it’s a toy horse, but when any horse has problems they deserve treatment.”

“I treat living horses, sir. This is not a living horse, it’s plastic.”

“That what you say, but it’s alive to me, as alive as anything on earth, like the Eiffel Tower.”

“The Eiffel Tower is not . . .”

“My horse needs help and you horse doctors know what to do. So do it or I report you to the medical board.”

“I’m a veterinarian.”

“What’s your diet have to do with my horse? I’m a vegetarian, too.”

“I can refer you to a specialist.”

“You should since you don’t know what you’re doing.”

“Here’s a card. Call the number and make an appointment. They understand horses like yours.”

“This is for a mental health clinic.”

“They’ll be able to treat your horse after understanding what it does.”

“It’s a horse.”

“Go ahead and call.”