BOOMERS WANT LIST INCLUDES WHAT THEY DIDN’T GET

Boomers want more, more, more?

That’s the whine that comes from the echo chamber of other generations, like baby boomers are a cut and run company of ruin and destruction.

Boomers I know want that elusive dish in life, harmony with a side of peace, love, and understanding.

Boomer wannabes want the same thing, but if they are younger people, they take a different approach.

Which usually brings results no one wants.

A leading edge boomer wrote about growing up near San Francisco before the tsunami of the counter culture slammed into the west coast.

He and his friends in the mid-60’s liked to pile into a car and drive downtown for concerts. They paid $2 a ticket to see and hear the Grateful Dead, Creedence, The Doors, Van Morrison.

Do boomers want to return to those times? No, the memory is enough. It’s not my memory, but based on others, it was a nice time to be young with an extra two bucks on a Saturday night.

Boomers Want Nostalgia?

No, not nostalgia, but something like it.

Consider Bruuuuuuce:

The screen door slams
Marys dress sways
Like a vision she dances across the porch
As the radio plays
Roy orbison singing for the lonely
Hey that's me and I want you only
Don't turn me home again
I just can't face myself alone again
Don't run back inside
Darling you know just what Im here for
So you're scared and you're thinking
That maybe we aint that young anymore
Show a little faith, there's magic in the night
You aint a beauty, but hey you're alright
Oh and that's alright with me

That was Big Time Bruce in 1975. I’ll do the math: Forty six years ago.

If you missed the boat for good times in 1969, 1975, and every year after, it might be a problem.

Are The Kids Alright?

I follow a guy on twitter, an Englishman in his late twenties obsessed with Linda Ronstadt and the late sixties. Not a bad combination.

He knows enough to convey a certain spirit of the era, and gets a little grief for it, though not from me. If a younger fan of the boomer era clicks with the vibe, I say pile on as much of the good stuff as you can.

That was my plan after he posted about criticism he got for his views. The guy sounds more like a latter day hippie than nostalgia fan, so I thought I’d introduce him to another online character with similar interests.

Call me matchmaker.

Before I linked them up I did more background. Always do more background checking for people you put forward for others.

I had followed the second guy for years and knew enough about him to vouch that he was a good citizen. I just thought the English guy would be a fan, too.

Always Check Current Bios

I’m not naming names here because this isn’t a ‘gotcha blog’ reveling in other people’s mistakes.

I couldn’t link these two would-be hippies, which is a shame. It’s a loss for the English guy, but the other one has a record that doesn’t feel right.

The sweet good guy feels about a fellow writer, a teacher, a wanderer, turned sour when I read about his public legal problems. The law found an older man sending texts to an under-aged girl about his special feelings deserved jail time.

Call me closed minded, but I shut the door after learning this. I feel bad about for the girl. Her mentor had other feelings after two years of contact. Then the police had other feelings.

Now he’s a registered sex offender. It could have been worse?

Boomers Want Male Behavior Explained

I explained my disappointment to my wife, who said, “Why do men do this sort of thing?”

Never one to be caught without a plausible answer, which is a husband’s duty, I broke it down for her.

“Some men want what they can’t have, what they think they missed out on, or what their buddies have. Guys, some guys, need to keep up no matter what.”

Wife and I drove around the other day and saw a few old guys in expensive convertibles cruising in the sunshine. Why do old guys have cool cars? Because they can afford them. Would I, an old guy at sixty six, ever park a mid-life crisis in my driveway?

No, I would not. I make other choices, better choices.

“Insecure men, guys who know their shortcomings and are not happy with the evidence, need partners who either know nothing about what to expect from any male at any age, or they know enough to go along.”

The best examples are ugly old rich guys with young fashion plate wives. One after another, like marriage is a monthly lottery, the old guys roll the dice. Young women make them feel like big winners. If the men are in their seventies and eighties, and the women in their thirties at the high end, no one can claim naivety.

At least they shouldn’t.

The next time I hear a thirty-five year old former beauty queen say, “I had no idea men were like this,” as they contest their pre-nep, won’t be the last.

Wife: Do you feel the same way? Do you want what boomers want?

Me: I’m going with JayZ.

Wife: Who?

Me: “Having girl problems I feel bad for you son. I got ninety-nine problems and a woman ain’t one.” 

Wife: What makes you think you’re any different?

Me: Remember when we met? We used to go on double dates, you and your guy with me and my girl.

Wife: Which one?

Me: Pick one. The point is I didn’t have girl problems. Your boyfriend had girl problems.

Wife: The biggest was you.

Me: We didn’t know that. Yet. Everyone has problems. The girls I knew had problems, the same as anyone, same as me, same as you.

Wife: What problems?

Me: The usual problems with people in their twenties. Is love real? Does love last? Is this the one? Where is it going?

Wife: Don’t you have those same questions now?

Me: Every day, honey. But they’re centered on one issue.

Wife: What’s that?

Me: I think you mean, “Who’s that?”

Wife: Okay, who’s that?

Me: You, dear.

Wife: Awwww.

Me: Awwww.

Wife: Is this why we’re still married?

Me: Are you starting a list?

Wife: Maybe.

Me: Awwwwwwww.