OREGON MAN: WHAT MAKES THEM EXTRA SPECIAL

Oregon man needs to leave the state and return to understand how special they are.

Answer the question, “Where are you from?” with Oregon and the show begins.

“Oregon? I’ve always wanted to go there,” they say, like it’s a mission to Mars.

I tested Europe my last time there. Most of my students didn’t know where Oregon was, didn’t know where Portland was, but they all knew Seattle.

Don’t worry, I coached them up. From Seattle, move your finger down the map, but not too far. That’s San Francisco. Oregon is between Washington and California; Portland is between Tacoma and Sacramento.

I liked adding cities so the students would know I knew my stuff, as long as they didn’t ask me about France, or England, or Belgium.

Either way, most of them were happy knowing about Seattle and didn’t give a rip about the rest. Keep this in mind if you decide to hold class with strangers in a strange land: a good teacher points in the direction of knowledge, but doesn’t tell the student what to see. Even if all they see is Seattle.

Oregon Man Lessons

Because of a coastline, Oregon man needs to know about the ocean. And the main thing they need to know is the Sneaker Wave: Never Turn Your Back on the ocean.

A sneaker wave is more than getting your sneakers wet. This is a larger than expected wave on a mission. It’s mission is to knock you down, roll you in the surf, and let the undertow do the rest of the work. What work? The drowning and swept away work.

I was in the Devil’s Punchbowl a couple of weeks ago. A stairway up the cliffs had a memorial for a woman who had recently washed up. Talk about a sobering reminder.

The ocean shows no remorse for anyone.

Neither do the mountains.

People hear about Oregon, the great outdoors, and can’t wait to get here and get started hiking and body surfing and climbing. Oregon man uses caution.

Older Oregon Men Should Know Better

On the beach: I turned my back on the ocean and got rolled by a sneaker wave. It happened so fast. I grew up playing on logs in the Sunset Beach surf, so I had immunity? No. There I was rolling around underwater and headed the wrong direction until I opened my eyes and stood up.

On the mountain: I got married in Sandy the same weekend the Episcopal school started their climb. My honeymoon night was at Timberline. The next day was Mother’s Day. The climbers’ rescue was in full swing in the parking lot.

I had plans to climb Mt. Hood. Read books, talked to folks. One lady said she climbed it in high heels. Another called it a ‘walk up.’

Any climbing plans stopped when a former co-worker made it up, but died in a chain reaction fall on the way down. He weighed heavy on my decision not to climb the mountain I see every day.

If it seems like Oregon is dangerous, it is. Oregon man needs to set the example for new people. We didn’t get older by being careless. Or fearful.

Just pay attention to Oregon.