FATHER’S DAY INSPECTION

This is a Father’s Day inspection I’m glad I didn’t see as a kid.

My dad is the guy with the sword. A sword?

What I learned in the Army is that leaders love showing off their troops to a visiting officer.

Sergeants like him take notes on who shows up ready to go, and who doesn’t. If someone fails, they all fail, and the sergeants figure out the right punishment.

Fortunately, the Old Man in my life left most of his hardassed Marine training in the Corps after five years that spanned the Korean War and sea duty on the USS Ranger.

With three boys and a girl, he could have channeled the Great Santini and run us ragged under the ruse of making us better people.

Instead, he joined the community of dads and moms who looked after their kids the right way.

He could have ruled his family with an iron fist, but didn’t. I got a course correction in eighth grade that saved problems later. He asked me an easy question, “Where have you been?” And I lied.

I did the same thing the next day. He asked me where I’d been in front of my mom, and I lied. My mom knew it, my dad knew it. But this time was different.

My father gave me a look I’d never seen before. He really bored in there eye to eye and held it for a few beats, then turned to my mom and said, “I believe him.”

What I saw was my old man lying to my mom for me. That had to be hard. To honor the effort, I never lied to him again.

Two years later I came home early on a Saturday night while my friends went to a dance.

My dad was on the couch.

“What are you doing home?” he asked. “I thought you were out with your buddies.”

“I was, but they wanted to go to the college dance and you guys said I couldn’t go. So here I am,” I said. “Where’s mom?”

“She’s at the college parking lot waiting to find you there,” he said.

“She’s going to be there a while.”

A knock at the door revealed a few of my older brother’s friends had stopped by.

“He’s not here,” I said.

“We know. He’s at the dance and your mom is prowling the parking lot in her red onesie looking for you. We thought it would be a good idea to be here when she comes back,” one of them said.

“Ought to be good,” dad said.

We all sat in the front room waiting until we saw headlights flash in the window when mom pulled into he driveway.

My mom was a crime buster and she came into the house in full stride.

It wasn’t Father’s Day the night, but I knew I had a good one.