WEAR MASKS? WHY WEAR A MASK?

Wear masks for safety in a grocery store.

Why? So the old man hacking and snorting behind you without a mask doesn’t have to live the rest of his life as a super-spreader?

Wear masks so you don’t have to get into your homestretch kick running away from coughs and sniffles?

Or to show you’re getting ‘With The Program?’

What To Expect If You Wear Masks

Vincent Van Gillaspie?

It’s probably different for everyone, but I have an outfit I wear to the grocery store: Brown pants and a golden hoodie.

That’s right, I dress for success in my high school colors.

And to no surprise, I’m the only one sporting the Brown and Gold. That doesn’t make everyone else a big old loser, but why take any unnecessary chances.

I change into my uniform on game day, and hang it up on a garage hook when I finish.

So far I’m undefeated. Who’s a good Bulldog?

Once I put the mask on in the parking lot, I’m struggling for breath about ten minutes later. Not a panic-like struggle, but more like the kid game we played, the Pillow Smother.

If there’s ever a time to panic, it’s that game. Or, like me, you learn to stay calm with a pillow over your face. How? Turn your head to the side, force a hand near your mouth and nose, and create space.

Every younger brother knows what to do next: Play dead. For extra sibling credit, struggle first, then go limp. Check the clock before the pillow shows up to see how long it takes for the others to wonder if you’re really dead, or not.

Wear Masks For Better Breathing Practice

Shortness of breath is nothing to sneeze at. It’s one of the big clues to health problems. You hear warnings about shortness of breath all the time.

It usually includes an encouraging message to call your doctor.

Shortness of breath in the mask I wear is expected. I found this old N95 in a tool drawer under a workbench.

Maybe a new one would have a better draw, but to me a better draw isn’t the point. Less air is better air, unless passing out happens, then you’ll need a different mask.

My go-to mask feels like the pillow smothering game, and I do the same thing I did then: slow, deep, breathing. Of course it comes with breaking a sweat since I’m in a homemade Bulldog hazmat suit.

I remind myself that shortness of breath and sweating are not connected in this case; it’s not a heart attack, in spite of the obvious signs backed up by the American Heart Association:

• Chest discomfort. Most heart attacks involve discomfort in the center of the chest that lasts more than a few minutes – or it may go away and then return. It can feel like uncomfortable pressure, squeezing, fullness or pain.
• Discomfort in other areas of the upper body. Symptoms can include pain or discomfort in one or both arms, the back, neck, jaw or stomach.
• Shortness of breath. This can occur with or without chest discomfort.
• Other signs. Other possible signs include breaking out in a cold sweat, nausea or lightheadedness.

Coronavirus Quarantine vs Cancer Quarantine

I’ve had experience in both cases, and hope you haven’t. But if you have had a similar experience, you know the drill.

For covid-19 quarantine it’s all about everyone wearing a mask; in cancer quarantine, one person wears it.

Instead of feeling solidarity with the world of masks during this quarantine, a cancer quarantine is so much more isolating. Unless you’re in the hospital, or nursing home, the only sickie is you. At least that’s how it felt to me.

I had masks and sanitizer at the door in case anyone wanted to visit, which was rare. On my most gregarious, outgoing days, I have little traffic showing up at my door.

During the cancer draw-down, my term, it was even less. What is a cancer draw-down? That’s when chemo and radiation lowers your immune system to the point of being a target for any and all opportunistic infections, the sort that come and go without notice.

Any visitor usually made it a one time thing due to the discomfort, the ordeal, and my lack of focus on anything besides weight loss and starvation.

It wasn’t a pretty picture, even when I started wearing clothes that never fit before, clothes my kids left behind.

Eventually I looked like a different person, which is key to surviving any quarantine. I saw myself as the person remembered a year later, a dead person.

The key is embracing the process.

One nurse said I needed to surrender. She said it quietly, like it was a secret. Surrender? I didn’t surrender as soon as I should have; eventually it was all I had left. I surrendered up a storm, too much surrendering, until the intervention.

Who Needs A Quarantine Intervention

My family intervention was a jewel. They took turns pointing out the obvious.

I’d found a picture of my Dad that I kept handy. Elaine saw it and said, “I can’t believe how much you two look alike now. When was your dad’s picture taken?”

“About a week before he died,” I said.

That’s when it sunk in. If I was going to rejoin the party of life and the living, I needed to put that picture away and snap the hell out of the spiral.

Instead of focusing on the slide down, I bore down on doing what I could. And this is why I tell other cancer support people to lie to their loved ones, and encourage the stricken to go along with the lie.

Let the medial people do medical things; be the patient who doesn’t fight the process. You. Are. Fine.

With coronavirus we’re all the patient, infected or not. That’s why we wear masks. If, during this time, you know a new cancer treatment patient in dire straits who wants to shun you more than usual, call it a new normal.

If we don’t have observant people looking in, we take the beating and retreat, withdraw, and finally we’re remembered for being ‘the quiet one,’ while we patiently wait on death’s doorstep.

Right now, on this day, yesterday too, and probably tomorrow, we have a chance to show the world around us we’re okay with not pushing anyone through the door early.

I took the one-two punch of cancer, got knocked down, and struggled to my feet like a fighter waiting for the ref to signal a TKO. To my surprise, but no one else, I got better. I turned the corner and ran with it.

In the same way we’ll be up and running after this quarantine. If you’re not sick, stay well. If you are sick, let helpers lift you up. For too many the final phase will come with a period of mourning.

Let’s be sure and lend comfort where it’s needed.