DRY JANUARY? START NOW, PARTY LATER

Dry January, or No Drink January, came as a surprise.

One of my favorite booze-hounds came up with it before I’d ever heard of it.

“I’m thinking of doing a dry January,” he said.

Me: What’s that?

Him: Where you don’t drink the month of January.

Me: Where I don’t drink? What, you think I drink too much?

Him: It’s more about taking a break.

Me: Did my wife put you up to this?

Him: No.

Me: Did your wife? Because if anyone needs a break, it’s you, not me.

Him: No one put me up to Dry January.

Me: This is your idea, then?

Him: I’m curious if I can do it.

Me: So you need a little support.

Him: That’s how I see it.

Me: This isn’t some desperate cry for help with your last breath, and I’m the last guy standing?

Him: I’m backing off the booze for a month and asking if my buddy wants to join.

Me: Like a project, a Man’s Project. In that case, I’m in.

Dry January, II

Men, if you decided to go dry for January, and today is the first day, and you haven’t told anyone, then do it quietly.

I talked it up since I accepted the offer of no booze, and the response is varied, to say the least.

Some people are betting I won’t make it a week, a week and a half at most. The bet is, if I don’t go dry January for the whole month, then I owe my doubters twenty bucks each. To show how little they know about placing bets, they forgot to include my payout when I reach February.

To all of my readers around the world, the law of wagering is getting a return on a bet.

The law of One-Up means increasing the bet after the first offering. If I don’t make it to February, I’ll pay the money agreed on. What we didn’t agree on was my take. Here it is:

If I fulfill my pledge, my doubters have to:

#1 Help with my stalled recording project. I’m adding a soundtrack to a slideshow of Paris. One of my Paris pals, BG, did the same thing and it’s an inspiration.

#2 Agree to pose as Greek gods for a photo shoot, complete with togas.

#2.5 They must bring a bottle of fine wine to the toga shoot.

#2.75 We all dance the chicken dance like Bluto.