REALITY REGISTER HOME CAREGIVER STYLE

Longtime readers and followers of boomerpdx know the reality register. I learned about it during my home caregiving years.

My father in law had Parkinson’s and dementia. I was his link to living at home instead of a nursing home, assisted living, or other accommodations. Picking him up when he was down included reality register.

Therapist call is something else, validation therapy and reality orientation. I stick with reality register since I’m not a therapist.

Are you?

Some mornings I started with weather, other times history.

If the sun shined I gave a bad weather report, cloudy, rain, thunder and lightning. If Ken looked out the window at a sunny day and gave me the wtf look, things were looking good; if he looked out the window and agreed, not so good.

For history I’d give a narrative on Pearl Harbor, or the Kennedy inauguration, or other important events, until I got the stink eye that showed he didn’t believe a word I said. After that we settled in for current events.

His interest waxed and waned based on when he got his meds. It was a roller coaster to plan for. Do more at the peak of meds, less on the cruise back down.

Call it a reality register, or reality orientation, but not validation therapy.

Validation therapy takes the mistaken reality of dementia where a car guy might think he’s still got his high school hotrod in the garage. Instead of telling him he wrecked his car in high school, ask what kind of car, what he misses about it, what color was it?

Based on experience, a reality register is more useful while validation is a little softer.

Take the big step with me on this:

If America under Mr. Trump needs therapy, which way would be best. First let’s agree that a little therapy would be good. Mr. Trump is working his magic across the world, so why not check in.

Would President Roosevelt be better remembered if he had leadership conferences with Hirohito and Hitler instead of Stalin and Churchill? Stalin is no one’s idea of a good guy, but he was still part of the mix. Hirohito and Hitler may have been worse, but not by much measured by national death records.

A lot of German and Japanese deaths came out of WWII, but not as much a Russia. Then add the purges of the thirties under Stalin.

America would be best served with reality orientation than validation therapy. When Mr. Trump and Mr. Putin talk shop, shouldn’t one of them not complain about freedom of the press?

Since validation therapy asks questions, start with, “Mr. Trump, how do you feel you would have fared in Russia? Would the news have been about a rich man taken down for the sake of the country and arrested, or news about another enemy of the state falling out of another ten story window?”

In an attempt to turn up the light on a dim future, ask, “Mr. Trump, if you had a choice of living in a pristine sealed environment, or in a West Virginia coal mining village down wind from de-regulated coal-fired electric plant with meth and heroin addicted neighbors on either side, which would make you more comfortable?”

For historical reference ask, “Mr. Trump, where would you have enjoyed living more, in North Korea in the fifties and sixties where people like you disappeared, or Russia in the Twenties where you would have been a target of the Cheka?”

In home caregiving my patient depended on me giving him a reality register, the reality orientation, and the validation therapy all at once. He had dementia and Parkinson’s and the challenge each day was keeping thing on an even keel.

In the current world of disturbing news and colorful characters, America needs to keep an even keel. If you know someone who can do that, leave names in comments.